Post-op, CIO, and crafts ...

Well, the new lifestyle isn't going that well, but that's ok. The weather's been rough, and I've had a lot of motivation to get stuff done around the house, so I made a conscious decision to go with that motivation while I have it. I've been cleaning out the kids' closets and our office, which has been a disaster since we moved in over two years ago. I also tackled a 2-month stack of paperwork, which still needs to be filed. It's hard every time I have an hour of free time and I have to choose between exercising, which will make me healthier and improve my mood, or knocking something big and important off my to-do list that will make my daily life a little easier and also improve my mood.

What would you choose?

Saw the orthopedic surgeon this week and had x-rays of my hand. Things look good, although my ring finger is still really stiff, as well as my pinky, which was badly sprained and stuck in the cast and then the splint along with my ring finger. Physical therapy is ridiculously painful, so painful that I break into a cold sweat and tears come to my eyes. I can see how breaking a person's fingers might have been useful during the Inquisition. Anyway, I can barely bend my fingers, and I have a whole series of exercises I have to do at least 4-6 times per day, preferably after warming my fingers with a heating pad. Do you know how easy that is to do with two really demanding toddlers around? Not easy at all. Some days I feel lucky to do the exercises only 2-3 times. Luckily, typing is also a good exercise.

Last night we let Turtle cry in his crib after he didn't fall asleep with my husband sitting in there for a half hour. He cried for well over an hour, and didn't fall asleep until close to 10:30. It is SO HARD to listen to him cry, but I am out of ideas and don't know what else to do. I think if CIO doesn't work after a couple more nights, I may try to come up with something else, but I'm willing to give it a chance at this point. It's been months now of him not falling asleep, and he did fall asleep on his own for over a year, so I know he is capable of doing it. Also, I've tried over and over to ask him what's wrong and he doesn't tell me, no matter how many different ways I think to ask him. I know he's not very good at expressing himself yet, but he's quite talkative in general and is usually good at telling me both if he wants/needs something and/or is scared of something, so I don't know why he is screaming and not falling asleep. It's frustrating for us all.

I've been working on a lot of crafts - is anyone interested in seeing pics? I've made 8 quiet book pages, I'm almost done making a cloth dollhouse, and I've made multiple fleece hats. I could get pics up sometime in the next few days if anyone is interested.

OK, I've got about 1.5 hours to try to get dinner prepped, maybe go for a run and a shower, and get as much as possible done around the house.Well, the new lifestyle isn't going that well, but that's ok. The weather's been rough, and I've had a lot of motivation to get stuff done around the house, so I made a conscious decision to go with that motivation while I have it. I've been cleaning out the kids' closets and our office, which has been a disaster since we moved in over two years ago. I also tackled a 2-month stack of paperwork, which still needs to be filed. It's hard every time I have an hour of free time and I have to choose between exercising, which will make me healthier and improve my mood, or knocking something big and important off my to-do list that will make my daily life a little easier and also improve my mood.

What would you choose?

Saw the orthopedic surgeon this week and had x-rays of my hand. Things look good, although my ring finger is still really stiff, as well as my pinky, which was badly sprained and stuck in the cast and then the splint along with my ring finger. Physical therapy is ridiculously painful, so painful that I break into a cold sweat and tears come to my eyes. I can see how breaking a person's fingers might have been useful during the Inquisition. Anyway, I can barely bend my fingers, and I have a whole series of exercises I have to do at least 4-6 times per day, preferably after warming my fingers with a heating pad. Do you know how easy that is to do with two really demanding toddlers around? Not easy at all. Some days I feel lucky to do the exercises only 2-3 times. Luckily, typing is also a good exercise.

Last night we let Turtle cry in his crib after he didn't fall asleep with my husband sitting in there for a half hour. He cried for well over an hour, and didn't fall asleep until close to 10:30. It is SO HARD to listen to him cry, but I am out of ideas and don't know what else to do. I think if CIO doesn't work after a couple more nights, I may try to come up with something else, but I'm willing to give it a chance at this point. It's been months now of him not falling asleep, and he did fall asleep on his own for over a year, so I know he is capable of doing it. Also, I've tried over and over to ask him what's wrong and he doesn't tell me, no matter how many different ways I think to ask him. I know he's not very good at expressing himself yet, but he's quite talkative in general and is usually good at telling me both if he wants/needs something and/or is scared of something, so I don't know why he is screaming and not falling asleep. It's frustrating for us all.

I've been working on a lot of crafts. I've made 8 quiet book pages, I'm almost done making a cloth dollhouse, and I've made multiple fleece hats. I will get pics up sometime in the next few days.

OK, I've got about 1.5 hours to try to get dinner prepped, maybe go for a run and a shower, and get as much as possible done around the house.

Fall mini-goals

I've been having a bit of an up-and-down attitude about my current situation. I was actually in a good mood about my broken hand situation for a long time. I felt that I could get back on track for the marathon, that I was managing daily life pretty well, and that I was lucky and the injury could have been much worse. Then I fell again and decided to pull out of the marathon, and stopped running, and started eating a lot of stuff I shouldn't, partly out of stress. This week, my husband's been gone and the kids have been pretty awful, to the point that I cried multiple times yesterday. I'm missing the rush I get from exercise, and physical therapy has suddenly gotten pretty painful (to the point where I am sweating and squirming and grabbing my seat in pain - sort of like mini-labor). Today I asked the physical therapist what she though about my progress, and as I suspected, it's not as good as she'd like. Which is understandable, since with 2 toddlers and no help around, it's been impossible to do my exercises as often as I should.

I decided today that I would go for a run, with my splint to protect my hand. I just got back and I already feel better. In a matter of a couple weeks, I went from being an active runner ready for a half-marathon and well on her way to a full one, who felt confident and healthy,who was ready for an awesome cross-country ski season, to someone who is becoming a couch potato and couldn't even keep herself from snacking on cookies every time she felt a bit of stress (and the amount of stress I felt yesterday worked out to about 15 cookies).

So. I need a goal again. And I have a few in mind. My mini-goal deadline is Thanksgiving, which the hope of re-establishing some good habits.

I'm still signed up for a 10k for November 17. Until then, I will run 3 times per week, 3-5 miles each time. I will work out at least 2 other days per week by doing exercises at home or going for a bike ride if my husband is home.

I will not snack between meals (possibly except of fruit, I'll see how it goes). I'll go back to my usual schedule of a healthy breakfast (usually a slice of whole-wheat bread with cream cheese, or yogurt and cereal), lunch (need to get this healthier), afternoon coffee, and dinner without second helpings. Dessert for special occasions only or nights out. No more cookies! Coffee only once a day, and don't drink it if I don't really feel like it. Tea is fine in the morning or evening. Try to eat fruit after every meal. I've done this kind of diet for years, I don't know why it feels so hard now.

I'd like to have a few other goals, and one thing I want to work on is gratitude. I was doing well for a while with no goal or program - I really wasn't at all down about my accident and surgery. I felt that things could have been a lot worse, and I was lucky. And it was all true. But then when I lost my long-term goal of training for a marathon after two months of hard work and good results, followed by a week of really difficult two-year-old behavior, I lost a bit of perspective. I want to get that back. So here's to that - to trying to get my perspective back with a bit of good, old-fashioned gratitude.

Starting with: today, at this moment, I am grateful my husband is on his way home. I'm grateful I have made at least SOME progress with my physical therapy. I'm grateful my friend and my sister are coming over tonight for a crafting night. I'm grateful for all the good food I've been eating and will continue to eat. I'm grateful for mochas, and now especially salted caramel mochas (maybe that's not a good thing to be grateful for). I'm grateful for my general good health.

It's a good life.

Well, a lot has happened in the time since I last wrote, but I will have to be somewhat brief because the most exciting thing that happened is that I set out on a 12 mile run about ten days ago and around mile 4.75, I tripped, fell, and broke my finger. I walked across the street to the hospital (already pretty certain that I had at least one broken finger) and voila - a couple hours and 4 x-rays later, I learned that I needed surgery.

I had surgery on Monday. One metal plate, four screws, seven sutures, and one cast later, I am struggling along with minimal use of one hand.

I just reread the last post and am sorry to say that Turtle is still having big separation anxiety and sleep issues. I really hope preschool goes ok this week.

Things I'd like to write about when I can type faster again:

1. Tadpole
2. Turtle
3. Successes of my summer garden and thoughts for next year
4. Preparation for the fall/winter garden
5. The quiet book I am making
6. Food prep and preservation
7. Italian playgroup ideas

I'm sure there's more, but it will have to wait, because I need to finish cleaning up. Buona sera.

Busy weekday

Today I'm making tomato sauce. All the tomatoes are from either my garden or my sister's, and I have enough for 10 jars. 4 are currently sterilizing, and I've got 6 more ready to go. Last time, I made 8 jars, and I think we still have at least 5-7 from last year, so I think we've got about 25 jars so far. I'll probably do another mini batch before the summer is over.

Today is actually a totally crazy day (but aren't they all?!) because tomorrow I'm leaving for a 2-night backpacking trip, for which I haven't started packing and I don't know where half my stuff is since I haven't been backpacking in years. I also ran 4.5 miles to keep up with marathon training, I'm prepping dinner, made a library run, and am doing laundry so the husband doesn't run out of clothes for the kids over the weekend.

The husband has been out of town for several days, leaving me at home with poor little Turtle who is unwilling to go to sleep in the evening these last two nights. He seems to be going through some sort of separation anxiety all of a sudden, not wanting me to leave his room in the evening. Last night, I tried everything I could think of - holding him, rocking him, singing to him, putting him in his crib and rubbing his back, nothing worked. In the end, I finally climbed into his crib and he relaxed and fell asleep. At 10:45. So that's when I finally go to start cleaning up after dinner and doing my evening chores. I didn't get to sleep until midnight, and then he woke up at 6:30. Needless to say, I'm tired.

When I dropped Turtle off at preschool this morning, he kept clinging to me and crying, which he hasn't done in weeks. Granted, he's not been THRILLED to be at preschool, but he's totally accepted it. It does sort of make me wonder when he comes running to me when I pick him up, crying "Mamma mamma mamma mamma, mia mamma, mia mamma." I don't know. It's rough. I'm worried about how he'll do without me this weekend. I've got jars sterilizing on the stove and peppers roasting in the oven, and I've got lots more to do today (besides finishing my iced coffee), so I'll hope for a better evening tonight with Turtle and get on with my day. Cheers!

So much for posting more frequently. It's the end of August, and I'm ready for fall. I'm ready for pumpkins and apples and pie and hot tea and warm sweaters and cozy slippers. I'm ready for fresh air and cooler days and fires in the fireplace and soups and casseroles. Life has been busy but really fun lately. The kids are just shy of 26 months, and they're so much fun. They talk so much, and I look forward to seeing what they learn each and every day. We're working sort of half-heartedly on potty learning, and we'll see how it goes. The garden went pretty well this summer! As usual, the peppers burned. Next year I will have to remember to plant them in a slightly shadier spot. The roma tomatoes have done decently well. So far, combined with Candace's tomatoes, I've made 8 jars of sauce and I hope to make another 8 or so this week, which is not as much as we need for the year, but we also have another 8 or so from last summer, and I might get more tomatoes to can, as well. It's looking good. The zucchini took over, of course. We got a lot of great yellow zucchini, much of which I am freezing, and some light green zucchini, too. And tons of green beans, including a super-long vining variety that I want to remember for next year. The eggplant didn't do much, I was disappointed. The heirloom tomatoes did ok, but luckily we got lots from Candace so we were totally covered. We have tons of cucumbers. Way too much! I've been baking lots of focaccia and whole wheat bread, yum! I have lots of new recipes I want to try, too, like a potato and roasted corn chowder. This week, I'll try to post every day to get up to speed on life and the going's-on around here. I can talk about the marathon I'm training for, the kids' preschool, our extra-curricular activities, career ideas for me, the garden, my crafts, and cooking and baking! So I'll be back tomorrow!

Garden beginnings, 2012

I planted the first plants in my vegetable garden today - 5 heirloom tomatoes, a yellow summer squash, and some basil. It's the first year of our new vegetable garden here at our house, and I'm quite excited. The garden is made up of 4 beds, about 8 feet by 13 feet each, which an automatic watering system. Two of the beds get full sun all day. One is reserved only for tomatoes, and I've dug deep furrows between three raised rows. One row will have around 10 heirlooms by the time I'm done, the other two will have 24 roma plants. The second full-sun bed will have 18-24 peppers, yellow and red, a green zucchini, a yellow zucchini, cucumbers, and basil. One part-sun bed will have eggplant (at least one dark purple and one lighter color), leeks, and green beans. I'm not so sure about growing leeks in this season, but it's worth a shot. I hope I can plant them soon. The last bed will have melons and winter squash. I'm still thinking about which kinds to plant - do I want to bother with carving pumpkins? We'll probably actually carve some pumpkins this year, so it might be worth it. We're planning to go to Italy in September, probably, so I don't know how that will affect the harvest. Hopefully I won't miss too much, after all this work!

A change in seasons

It's a cold windy day, and the children are gradually settling themselves for their afternoon naps. Turtle is fighting it, but he's slowing down, giving in, resting his tired head against the mattress. A stillness is beginning to fill the house, a quiet, a peace that isn't here when they are awake and loud and rowdy and playing. At their age, they don't appreciate the quiet times yet.

My list of chores stretches before me, but I needed to take a moment to set down my thoughts, to relax, to think. Perhaps to meditate a bit. To go over my short-term goals in my head, while wondering when I will have time to get to my long-term goals.

It's the end of February, in fact, tomorrow is Leap Day. We've had a mild winter, but I still anticipate the coming of spring, if only for the longer days and warmer nights. Goodness knows we need rain, and we need it desperately. And if we get it, we can invent indoor activities, and go puddle jumping, and snuggle and read books. And soon, we'll be in short sleeves and sandals, swimming in our pool, going for walks, playing with water and sand, and enjoying afternoons of sunshine.

In a few short months, we'll be planting vegetables, cooking fresh peas, and eating strawberries with whipped cream. We'll have lunch and dinner parties on the patio, trips to the park and the splash pad, go hiking with friends.

And in the meantime, we'll make soup and light fires in the fireplace and watch movies and curl up on the couch with a good book. I'm enjoying the winter, but really looking forward to spring!